What the f*ck do I do now???

I built my life around dentistry.

It was the thing I was praised for.

The thing I was good at.

The thing I was supposed to do.

And for a while, it made sense.

I loved using my hands.

I loved the transformations.

I loved helping people.

But lately, I’ve started asking a question I never let myself ask before:

What do you do when the thing you’ve dedicated your entire life to is also the thing that’s crushing your soul?

Because here’s the truth I never thought I’d say out loud:

Dentistry doesn’t feel meaningful anymore. More than that, it feels soul crushing.

Even the good cases—the ones that used to light me up—don’t land the same way.

They’re few and far between.

And they’re not enough.

The spark is gone.

And all that’s left is the pressure.

For most of my life, I did what I thought I was supposed to do.

Get the degree.

Build the practice.

Be the provider.

Be the professional.

Smile. Produce. Perform.

And I was good at it.

But being good at something doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Now, for the first time, I’m listening to a quieter voice.

The one that isn’t trying to please anyone.

The one that isn’t afraid to disappoint.

It’s telling me I don’t want to go back.

That dentistry might have been a chapter—not the whole book.

But then the fear creeps in:

What if I’m just running away?

What if this is just another spiral—like what happened after The Dental House?

What if I’m throwing away the only stable thing I have?

I got sober in 2017. I started over. I’ve done the scary thing before.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not terrifying to do it again.

Because this time, the risk isn’t just financial.

It’s existential.

Who am I without the thing I’ve always been?

I don’t have the answer yet.

But I know this:

I’d rather be uncertain than numb.

I’d rather feel scared than suffocated.

And maybe that’s what real courage looks like—

Not charging forward with a plan,

but standing still long enough to hear the voice you’ve been silencing for decades.

So if you’re here too—

staring down a life you no longer recognize,

just know: you’re not alone.

We don’t have to keep dying inside just because we’re good at something on the outside.

There’s a different way forward.And I’m walking it—one shaky, sacred step at a time.

If you’re in a season of reinvention, subscribe.

Not because I have all the answers—

but because I’m finally asking the right questions.